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Hi Caroline,
Since you've had this tree for 2 1/2 years you probably already know that they drop their leaves if you change the way you water, move them, they get a draft, you turn on the heat or even look at them funny. They also shed in the fall. You mention that the stems seem soft. If they are, then it sounds like it may have been overwatered at some point. Could it be that it sat in water too long? Have you fertilized? Maybe it has been overfertilized. Best to fertilize only in spring and summer and dilute to half strength.
Another thought that comes to mind is that it may need to be repotted. If you have not repotted it since you brought it home then it is probably rootbound. I suggest a pot that is 2" larger.
I agree that putting it near the heat source is not a good idea. Keep it in a bright spot away from drafts of cold or hot.
Hope this helps,
Newt
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When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
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